Beauty and the Beast

"Have fun in your ass castle!" -- Kristen Wiig as Belle on and episode of Saturday Nite Live

"I like women like you... but like with a big ass!" -- Bobby Moynihan as Cogsworth in the same sketch

Surely you can't be serious

"WTF?? Are you going to practice making witty remarks? Is it like a dress rehearsal?" -- Holly Brown in response to my Unofficial Airplane! party

Too much TV today

"That's why they call it murder, not muckduck" -- Dwight Shrute

"I am ze locksmith of love, no?" -- Pepe le Pew

"It's a wonderful thing. It's called science" -- Stew Tolnay on the Scientific Method

Don't You Mean Lightyears and Pioneers?

"You guys are like lightning rods and pilgrims" -- Nancy Elder during a debrief of the new Landmark Forum Evening Session

"I even remember her name! It's Sasha... something..." -- Alexis Harris lecturing about a victim in a case she did a study on

"I just don't see what's funny about that" -- Laura Fine-Morrison commenting on a YouTube video that was CLEARLY funny

Goats and Acura Camping

"If a goat never opened it's eyes at me, I would be fine" -- Jackie Green

Crystal: "Humpf"
Jackie: "It's humph"
Crystal: "No, there's a P and a F, HUMPF"
Jackie: "That's dumb"

I hate street sweepers

"What was that? A robot?" -- Kelly Zuger after running over a piece of metal in the road

"I think we are behind an European ambulance!" -- Kelly Zuger

You made it Zach

"I love all things pie related" - Zach Youngs