Seriously?

Sam: "What is that?"
Chris: "It's a puddle, man..."

Audrey: "How old are you?"
Crystal: "I'm 20."
Audrey: "Seriously?"

"I put worms in my bed and I slept in my bed, put a squirrel in my bed and mustard in my bed and then I ate them all, is that bad?" -- Kristen Wiig on the season finale of SNL hosted by Will Ferrel

Windex and Phasers

"Shelly, you can't be there!" - Shawn from my softball team yelling at Shelly to get behind the backstop

"If eyes are the window to the soul, why does it hurt when I put Windex on them?" - Steven Colbert

"Set phasers to fabulous" - Steven Colbert talking about the new Star Trek movie

"My right brain is an ass" - a patient on the season finale of House

"Think of bankers gone wild" - Jonathan Wender talking about parallels between capitalism and drug culture

"Hi, do you love me?" - Jonathan Wender talking about profiling and having a background of relatedness

Spanx

"Up next, Kathie Lee versus the lady who invented Spanx" - Hota Kotb on the Today Show

Uh, you're scaring me...

"YES! It is a beautiful day in Seattle! God Damn!" - Jonathan Wender before lecture

"Granny Smith, 4017" - Peter, a kid in lecture shouting out the produce code for an apple that the professor was eating

Strawberry

"Look at the strawberry! How much do you want for that? I had a fruit salad for lunch..." - Jonathan Wender in the middle of a lecture on Police in Modern Society