That's going in my blog right now

"I don't want to leave my cocoon of warmth right now" -- Madeline Gagner

"Oh my God, my cocoon is breaking!" -- Madeline Gagner

Oh my God!

"It had part of its life and probably some babies and then died IN MY BED, WHERE I SLEEP" -- Kimberly Redding upon finding a dead spider in her bed

Stew, you slay me!

"I sent a bunch of emails out the same day and he responded first. Within 15 minutes actually, which suggests he has little else going on" -- Stew Tolnay remarking on his email correspondence with a collegue

"Are you interested to know why I know that? No? The correct answer is 'Yes, Stew, I am very interested to know why'" -- Stew Tolnay

"It's like a curtain lifting because you new know things about social inquiry you never knew before! Try to contain your excitement about this" -- Stew Tolnay

A picture's worth a 1000 words

Crystal Komenda: "Don't be sad you can't hang out with me all weekend"
Matt Brown: "I am devastated. I'll print your picture and tape it to my seat and pretend to talk to you"

My pizza is too loud

"Can you turn it up because I can't hear when I eat this pizza. I chew too loud" -- Kelly Zuger

Beauty and the Beast

"Have fun in your ass castle!" -- Kristen Wiig as Belle on and episode of Saturday Nite Live

"I like women like you... but like with a big ass!" -- Bobby Moynihan as Cogsworth in the same sketch

Surely you can't be serious

"WTF?? Are you going to practice making witty remarks? Is it like a dress rehearsal?" -- Holly Brown in response to my Unofficial Airplane! party

Too much TV today

"That's why they call it murder, not muckduck" -- Dwight Shrute

"I am ze locksmith of love, no?" -- Pepe le Pew

"It's a wonderful thing. It's called science" -- Stew Tolnay on the Scientific Method

Don't You Mean Lightyears and Pioneers?

"You guys are like lightning rods and pilgrims" -- Nancy Elder during a debrief of the new Landmark Forum Evening Session

"I even remember her name! It's Sasha... something..." -- Alexis Harris lecturing about a victim in a case she did a study on

"I just don't see what's funny about that" -- Laura Fine-Morrison commenting on a YouTube video that was CLEARLY funny

Goats and Acura Camping

"If a goat never opened it's eyes at me, I would be fine" -- Jackie Green

Crystal: "Humpf"
Jackie: "It's humph"
Crystal: "No, there's a P and a F, HUMPF"
Jackie: "That's dumb"

I hate street sweepers

"What was that? A robot?" -- Kelly Zuger after running over a piece of metal in the road

"I think we are behind an European ambulance!" -- Kelly Zuger

You made it Zach

"I love all things pie related" - Zach Youngs

Seriously?

Sam: "What is that?"
Chris: "It's a puddle, man..."

Audrey: "How old are you?"
Crystal: "I'm 20."
Audrey: "Seriously?"

"I put worms in my bed and I slept in my bed, put a squirrel in my bed and mustard in my bed and then I ate them all, is that bad?" -- Kristen Wiig on the season finale of SNL hosted by Will Ferrel

Windex and Phasers

"Shelly, you can't be there!" - Shawn from my softball team yelling at Shelly to get behind the backstop

"If eyes are the window to the soul, why does it hurt when I put Windex on them?" - Steven Colbert

"Set phasers to fabulous" - Steven Colbert talking about the new Star Trek movie

"My right brain is an ass" - a patient on the season finale of House

"Think of bankers gone wild" - Jonathan Wender talking about parallels between capitalism and drug culture

"Hi, do you love me?" - Jonathan Wender talking about profiling and having a background of relatedness

Spanx

"Up next, Kathie Lee versus the lady who invented Spanx" - Hota Kotb on the Today Show

Uh, you're scaring me...

"YES! It is a beautiful day in Seattle! God Damn!" - Jonathan Wender before lecture

"Granny Smith, 4017" - Peter, a kid in lecture shouting out the produce code for an apple that the professor was eating

Strawberry

"Look at the strawberry! How much do you want for that? I had a fruit salad for lunch..." - Jonathan Wender in the middle of a lecture on Police in Modern Society

Pants

"I'll give her one last ring and then I'll think about putting pants on." --Shelly Stanovich

"I want to subscribe to your blog. Does it cost anything?" -- Shelly Stanovich

"The people of Bermuda used to call the highly socialized Sea Owls over with a call, 'WAKAWAKAWAKA' and then wring those damn birds' necks." -- Zip Trainor

"My heart soars with... the eagle's... nest." --Michael Scott

"Have you guys ever heard of baby legs?" -- Baby Legs Spokeman, UW Seattle Campus

Introduction

This blog will contain things I hear throughout the day that make me giggle. It's real people, laugh!

I like to find the levity in everything I do and each situation life presents. I couldn't go a day without laughing and I thought I'd share the gems I discover everyday. So from here on out, expect a post every day or so with my findings.

Please, enjoy. And laugh a little.