That's going in my blog right now

"I don't want to leave my cocoon of warmth right now" -- Madeline Gagner

"Oh my God, my cocoon is breaking!" -- Madeline Gagner

Oh my God!

"It had part of its life and probably some babies and then died IN MY BED, WHERE I SLEEP" -- Kimberly Redding upon finding a dead spider in her bed

Stew, you slay me!

"I sent a bunch of emails out the same day and he responded first. Within 15 minutes actually, which suggests he has little else going on" -- Stew Tolnay remarking on his email correspondence with a collegue

"Are you interested to know why I know that? No? The correct answer is 'Yes, Stew, I am very interested to know why'" -- Stew Tolnay

"It's like a curtain lifting because you new know things about social inquiry you never knew before! Try to contain your excitement about this" -- Stew Tolnay

A picture's worth a 1000 words

Crystal Komenda: "Don't be sad you can't hang out with me all weekend"
Matt Brown: "I am devastated. I'll print your picture and tape it to my seat and pretend to talk to you"

My pizza is too loud

"Can you turn it up because I can't hear when I eat this pizza. I chew too loud" -- Kelly Zuger

Beauty and the Beast

"Have fun in your ass castle!" -- Kristen Wiig as Belle on and episode of Saturday Nite Live

"I like women like you... but like with a big ass!" -- Bobby Moynihan as Cogsworth in the same sketch

Surely you can't be serious

"WTF?? Are you going to practice making witty remarks? Is it like a dress rehearsal?" -- Holly Brown in response to my Unofficial Airplane! party

Too much TV today

"That's why they call it murder, not muckduck" -- Dwight Shrute

"I am ze locksmith of love, no?" -- Pepe le Pew

"It's a wonderful thing. It's called science" -- Stew Tolnay on the Scientific Method

Don't You Mean Lightyears and Pioneers?

"You guys are like lightning rods and pilgrims" -- Nancy Elder during a debrief of the new Landmark Forum Evening Session

"I even remember her name! It's Sasha... something..." -- Alexis Harris lecturing about a victim in a case she did a study on

"I just don't see what's funny about that" -- Laura Fine-Morrison commenting on a YouTube video that was CLEARLY funny